Cultural Observations from Tanzania: Relationships

People are called by their last names except in their home and home village, although in their home village only their nickname may be known. One other exception: they know westerners are confused by this and so they tell us their first name. Actually, this creates some confusion for me since everyone else knows them by a different name. It’s kind of like reading Tolstoy’s “War and Peace”.

There is no word for cousin, nephew, niece, aunt, uncle. Your cousin is called ‘sister - dada’ or ‘brother – kaka’. Your nephew or niece is your son or daughter. Your aunt or uncle is addressed as your mother or father (mama or baba). The words ‘uncle’ and ‘anty’ are used widely, including to summon a service person in a restaurant but do not indicate closeness and would be rude to address your actual uncle or aunt.

It is rude to call your actual brother or sister by their names, you call them ‘dada’ or ‘kaka’. A young lady proposed an insoluble problem to me: there is a famous soccer player from Brazil whose surname is ‘Kaka’; what if he were your brother? How then would you address him without offense?

Your good friend (rafiki) is also your kaka or dada.

Your respected elder is your mama or your baba.

Mzee, the word for ‘elderly’ is laden with much respect.

This closeness of extended families carries a burden of responsibility. All of these people have a claim on all your resources. This is part of why a person with a good job in East Africa often cares for 10-15 families. If you have access to resources – even if they are not yours, like the money in a cashier-till where you work, then you are expected to deliver it up to family when necessary. This is one of the sources of corruption and the ones that practice it will usually admit their action and why when they are caught.
There are other complications of family life that aren’t always positive. For example, in some traditions, women and children have very few rights. For example, if the man dies, the man’s family might seize all the property and put the women and children out on the street.

Tribal origins are kept track of and are thought to provide generalized information about personality and outlook. As I recall there are about 120 people groups in Tanzania, with their own languages, traditions and dress. People love to speak in their tribal language when they are with others from that tribe. Swahili is the language of trade that holds it all together.

Patronage is necessary in a society where your life and well being may depend on favors. Complex structures of patronage exist and deliver a form of stability. “Nepotism” is the Latin word for nephew and a clue that this was widespread in our own society. Patronage itself is from the word for XXX

Yes, there is a tangled web of relationships in Africa; far more complex than that in American societies.

Below is my ‘dada’ Chilwa and some of her ‘children’.